i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
