Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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