Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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