She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
