okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
