I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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