we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A+ Viking dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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