don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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