he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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