no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
