whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
