we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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