I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
