I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
