I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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