Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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