I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
