My sheets look like a crime scene.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
