If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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