Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
