i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
