ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In America we eat man semen.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
