Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
