I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
