This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
