i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
