anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
