is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
