I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
