i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
