I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize