her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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