Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
