Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
