You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
