There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
