...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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