next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
