Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
