Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
