Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
