Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize