I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
