My nipple is on Facebook.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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