Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
