I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
COCAINE IS GR8
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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