She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
