Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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