no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
