Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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