the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize