I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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