And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
