remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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