Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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