i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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