yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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