So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
