Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
