remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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