I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
